Tuesday, May 04, 2004


It's been a busy week, so I haven't updated as much as I should have. You could help me out by sending me your favorite leotardisms.

I realized something about the Leotard. He does, indeed, say strikingly leotarded things, but on a daily basis he is more a source of constant minileotardisms. I keep thinking, "That needs to go on Leotarded," but then in the midst of the influx of minileotardisms, I forget any particular one. Danielle and Dave were over on Sunday night, and I think they got a taste for what I mean.

I do remember a couple from the past week. First, I was saying that I told an annoying woman I work with that I was pregnant in order to avoid a surprise ambush if she found out on her own. Leo interjected, "PLACENTA IS TASTY!" I assume that he was imitating her, but it wasn't really clear. And, frankly, given his eating habits, I'm worried. The Leotard is the most carnivorous man I have ever met. He is fond of, as he puts it, "the mixing of the meats." This means that left to his own devices, his dinner plate is Noah's ark. I have seen him eat a meal of roast beef, fried chicken, a pork chop, a fish filet, and meatloaf.

One of the most fun things to do with the Leotard is take advantage of his extreme gullibility. It is very easy to deceive and confuse him, and it's a lot of fun to watch him get confused and disoriented. (This is why he called it "a trick!" when I told him about lungs replenishing blood with oxygen.) This weekend The Princess Bride was on, and I was trying to convince him that Andre the Giant was Arnold Schwarzenegger. It didn't work, but it was funny to watch him emphatically argue with me about it.

I did get him later, though. On the news, they were talking about how scientists have grown teeth using stem cells, though it has only been done with mice. I said, "It's weird that they would use mice, since mice don't even have actual teeth." Leo got really confused and said, "What? What do you mean?" I said, "They don't have real teeth. They have cartilage buds." Leo started getting disoriented and was stammering, "No they don't! Is this some kind of a trick? You're trying to trick me! Mice have teeth!" "No," I said, "they're like lizards or fish." "Really?" he asked, "No... no! They have teeth, don't they? Are you tricking me?" He would have bought it hook, line and sinker if I hadn't started laughing.


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